Forever
by BluBooThalassophile
Summary: Some things in life mean nothing: promises of forever, time, and moments. They mean nothing for they have no value to one when they do not effect one, to Sesshomaru they mean nothing. Or rather they meant nothing until there was one little human girl who they meant everything to. She promised him forever, he knows she can't give it to him however he'll cherish every moment she has.


**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**

**Forever**

Time was a tricky thing to him, for time was only an illusion of things passing. They said he had walked the earth for five hundred years before he met her. But before her time was not important. Still his time with her struck him hard, time for him had started with her.

Time started with silence for him. Silence had greeted him with her, a startled gasp, quick gulp then a defiant spark lit her eyes as she dared to approach him. No one had ever dared to approach him so closely, though his first instinct was to run her through with his claws. He was most curious about this human pup. She intrigued him for she was brave in a way most humans were cowards. Then her big brown eyes always spoke her emotions, told him she cared about him despite not knowing him, she took care of him though he knew her little body couldn't afford to. Though their time was brief he knew he'd remember her for a long time after she smiled happily at him. The love and adoration in her eyes made him somewhat protective. But he needed to leave and she needed to stay, their time had been short and he had left. Until the scent of her blood.

Time stopped for the first time in his life.

Turning around he had walked right to her limp, lifeless body feeling something break within. Her life was brief because she was human but it hadn't needed to be cut short. The child had offered him love when no one ever had, she had offered him food though she could not afford to skip any meals, and she had attempted to care for him though he had tried to scare her away. Their time had been short but it hadn't been meant to be sliced down like this. For the first time in his life Tenseiga pulsed, he claimed it to be a test but in truth the girl was the only human he had met who deserved more time. He wanted her to have more time.

Returning her life to her he left, she followed him, even grabbed his hand. Though her hand was tiny he found himself confused, he hated humans but he liked holding her hand. He never expected the devotion, the love, and the obvious admiration in her large brown eyes had him valuing the time he would get to have with this girl. He would do his best to make certain she was happy in the time Tenseiga had stolen. Though Jaken was not fond of the girl he kept her. After he had managed to get her clean and talking again he learned quickly her name was Rin, she was eight, and hated humans (which had shocked and delighted him), she would be good so long as he let her stay. He let her come ignoring her promise to be with him for forever.

The summer passed, time passed, life continued on and he continued to wait for her leave him or hate him. Nothing, but the girl seemed to be a bottomless pit of questions: Why's the sky blue? Why do birds and Lord Sesshomaru fly? How do you fly? Can I fly? What kind of flower is this? Will you play with me? When is lunch? Why is the grass green? What happened to your left arm? Why do you carry two swords? How come Jaken follows you? How old are you? What are clouds made of? Why does it rain? Can I see a rainbow? Why do you hate humans? Do you like me? What do your markings mean? Why do you have claws? Why do you wear a fur? Can I marry you? (His answer: Maybe…) His questions were much simpler: Where did she find the time to think up these questions? Was this normal for human pups? Was this curiosity human nature or her way of getting him to talk to her? Sometimes he wondered why all this ran through her head but he patiently answered all the questions she asked him to the best of his ability. Most of the time in a yes or no fashion since some things could not be explained. There were only two things which threw him off balance when she asked.

The first being: If I died one day, I was wondering, would you- would you always remember me? A question which had crushed him under its meaning but one he tried to brush off with the answer: Don't say such silly things. He didn't add he could never forget her even if he tried; he needed her, craved her company, and loved her to the point it could pain and overwhelm him making him feel invincible all at once. The question made him face reality about her mortality. Sadly it was the only thing she asked for from him.

The second question which had caused him to run face first into a tree was: Lord Sesshomaru, where do babies come from? For that he had no appropriate answer for a pup though he knew his expression was comical to the girl as she giggled happily. The only good thing about that day was that Jaken had been lost so he had not seen Sesshomaru walk into the tree out of shock of her question.

Life continued, the hunt for Naraku continued and his quest for supreme power continued. But he valued his time with the human girl who mattered; the girl who had screamed at a stubborn monk he was coming for her. It infuriated him that no one had listen to Rin and let her decide so he made it clear it was her choice to follow him, he secretly valued her following him. Her yes had sealed her own fate and his, he was doomed and she was determined to have forever.

Because he saw her time was precious he made time for her to have fields of flowers, to laugh and sing, and time to be a child, she'd grow up one day. Then _he_ had come, and Sesshomaru felt jealous, insanely so, when she gave her precious attentions to that boy, Kohaku, but he ignored his feelings and reminded himself Rin should cherish all her time in this world. He must share her since Rin had her own life. Still he hated the boy for making his Rin laugh and giggle, and smile when all he could do was remain impassive. She was just a child, she was not his, she was not his pup, she was not his. He chanted this to himself internally, almost religiously. Then she asked if she could stay with him forever, it made his world a bit more bearable with that boy tagging along knowing his Rin wanted to stay with him.

It wasn't until her second death though that he was truly crushed, devastated, damaged beyond repair and even that did not describe what he felt accurately. He'd have risked spending all of eternity in hell holding her little corpse if the boy hadn't been with him. Rin had been so fond of the boy he couldn't leave the boy to suffer with him as well. Returning to his mother's palace he held his Rin's little body in his arm. Time had run out again, and Tenseiga wasn't working. Looking at her pale little body he couldn't help but regret everything, every time he had brushed her off or ignored her or was jealous for her dividing her attentions. Just one more time, he just wanted one more minute. Just to see her once more alive and smiling with a look of absolute love, something no one else had ever given him in his life.

With his father, love was through approval and power though he hadn't had any when his father had tossed him aside and bequeathed Inuyasha with Tetsusiaga. Love from his mother was even less likely for she only like to manipulate things to do her bidding, he had learned long ago his mother felt no love since he had been a pawn to keep his father. Though he was certain it hadn't worked since his father had sought out Inuyasha's mother.

Sesshomaru would give anything he had, everything he was just to have one more moment with the wayward girl who had shown him absolute adoration and love. He just wanted more time with the girl, she was still so young and he had so many of her questions to answer. Looking at Rin he had remembered thinking she was never this still, not even when she slept. Why did fate hate him so much it kept coming around to destroy Rin? Rin was human, humans only had decades to live and he was a daiyōkai, he had centuries to go through. In comparison her life was nothing more than a heartbeat compared to his, but it was one heartbeat that was breaking his frozen, dead, and hate filled black heart.

Graciously his mother had done him a kindness by bringing Rin back a second time. He'd have more time with the girl who loved him. The thought was thrilling but when he was warned she would not come back a third time he began planning. After he killed Naraku he was going to steal Rin away somewhere where she could be safe. Somewhere where he did not have to worry about her time running short. He would not waste any more time with the girl, his Rin would know she was cherished and prized above all his other worldly possessions, including the left arm he regained later with his new sword, Bakusaiga. Rin was his world; she was the most important person in his life. What was a few decades with Rin going to do his plans? It wasn't a true delay since he was only nineteen in daiyōkai years. Time was something he had plenty of, Rin did not and he planned to treasure his time with Rin.

Time was almost cut short again by that damn spider, then the girl, Sango. He had wanted to scream in agony when that boomerang went flying to Rin but he was still too far to save her. The labyrinth of this spider he was trapped in would not let him near his Rin. Instead he had listened to Byakuya of the Dreams explain the illusion to Sango while his heart agonized. He vowed to himself to kill the demon slayer once they destroyed the spider, which was his plan until Sango redeemed herself giving Rin her mask. His Rin had then pleaded with him to save Sango though he did not want to, but he'd give Rin anything she pleased. That was her second request. Destroying the spider had been a relief to him, there was nothing left to threaten Rin's time with him.

Until the old miko had interfered. Telling him Rin needed to be among her own kind, with humans. She needed to learn to live with humans before she decided if she wanted to follow him or stay in a village for a happy normal life. Oh, how he had loathed the old miko. Even he saw the reasoning behind the miko's hurtful words. Their parting had been a tedious and painful day which had etched itself in his memory. Rin had been crying, screaming, pleading, clinging to him with a death grip no eight year old should have the strength for while Inuyasha and he attempted to detach Rin from him and his mokomoko. It was extremely painful for him, both emotionally (because she kept shouting he promised she could stay with him forever) and physically (because she had ripped out a few good chunks of fur out of his mokomoko which had hurt like hell)! Finally freed from the girl; he disappeared quickly so she would stop crying sooner. He was not so lucky, his Rin wasted a week with her tears, and he had used every bit of his willpower not to run to her, snatch her up and disappear.

Why shouldn't she be with him? He was the one who had brought her back to life. Also, Rin wanted to be with him. The incident with those monks had proven that, but he had forced himself to stay away. Well, as far away as he could go which was rarely farther than ten miles. It irked him to no end that he stuck around on the fringes of that human village to watch his ward. Even worse was Inuyasha knowing he was there and neither of them telling Rin. Again he had the old miko to thank for his newest bit of hell. The old miko had actually requested he stay away so Rin's decision would not be influenced. He did stay away, for the most part at least. He couldn't stay away; he physically could not stay away from his Rin, so he brought her presents and claimed to be there to inquire about her health and happiness. Then he'd leave, killing himself on the inside for the pain he was receiving for leaving. It was only worse knowing she was adapting so well. It also did not help knowing Inuyasha and his pack got to enjoy Rin's smiles and laughs while he was forced to wait on the outskirts for the day he could ask her to come with him again. The place he wanted to be was not on the fringes of this human village but with his Rin!

Fate must truly hate him to waste what precious time his Rin had left in the world.

Time was wasted during his wait for her, it was not wasted for him since time had no bearing really. What were a few centuries? But Rin did not have a few centuries, she only had a handful of decades and it pained him to know he was wasting her precious time. It pained him knowing he was wasting her valued time but he was biding his time. He could be patient. His Rin still loved him; he could see it in her eyes whenever she looked up to see him. It was a look no one else received, and with all the time he spent spying on Inuyasha's pack he knew this for a fact. Rin looked at him with a look of absolute, undying, unyielding, unending love whenever he came to visit.

To his shock in a short time her love changed though, he could see it. And almost watched it change slowly though no one else noticed it. The love and adoration the child had given to him was still there but it was not in the same manner it once had been. Once she had worshipped the ground he walked on, thought the sun and moon rose and fell at his command for he was her savior, her guardian, and her friend. She loved him unconditionally still but the love changed from that of an innocent child to a young girl growing into her womanhood. The gangly teen who still walked by his side now blushed when he looked at her. Time was changing her again, he thought sadly and he could not participate in the change since he had promised not to sway her decisions. The love she gave him was changing; his Rin was growing up and learning about a new world. Time was continuing, but it was still frozen for him.

He never changed really, the only major change was the style he wore his armor and hair and his ever growing mokomoko which was now heavy, irritatingly fluffy, and dragged behind him when he walked because it was so heavy. His youthful appearance hadn't changed in the last six years though Rin's was. The small child was transforming into a small adolescent girl. Again he ached at their time differences but still cherished his time with her. Humans aged so quickly…a sigh escaped him at the notion of the truth behind the words. In a blink of an eye his Rin had gone from being a cute little girl into a young adolescent to one who held the promise of beauty when she was a woman. It was one night when he had managed to steal Rin away for a trip when the first major change came.

Something had been off about his Rin throughout the trip, she had slept a lot, didn't want to move about, and when they relaxed from walking she had stretched out to lay as flat as possible on the ground. It was obvious she was in pain but she wasn't telling him, he guessed she knew how precious their time was. Humans never seemed to appreciate their time but Rin was different. His Rin had died twice, and both deaths were his fault in his mind. But it was in through those deaths which had him noticing how much she appreciated her life and her time with people; even him. They had decided to stop at a hot spring, he had chosen it mostly because Rin seemed to be in so much pain. Patrolling his perimeter he had heard an earth shattering scream, he had panicked as he raced to Rin. She couldn't be dying again! He would not let her die a third time so young! Bursting through the bushes to attack whatever was scaring her he came upon a very naked adolescent girl who was crying and frantically cleaning herself in waters that were being stained by blood. Half his mind was dead at the sight of the girl, the other half of his mind was relieved it was something so mundane as a woman's bleeding. But still, he worried about time again.

Time had brought another change to his Rin.

Carefully he had handled the naked, weeping girl with the care and caution she had first given him. Getting her out of the water he wrapped her up in a spare robe, she was sobbing, panicking and clinging to him; begging him to make it go away. Sesshomaru had cursed time again for this change; he had not been prepared for this change though it had been inevitable. Settling under a tree he had held her while she calmed down then passed out, he merely held her since he did not know what else to do. He could not leave her here but he was not about to take her to the village in this state so he sat there cursing time again. But savoring every moment he had with his Rin. When the next day had come Rin was still bleeding, scared and panicky but he had carried her back to Kagome and Inuyasha, carefully since she still seemed to be in pain.

What had confused him was his reaction to Rin's changing scent, it was another sign of time but his reaction was unsettling. If being away from her before had been difficult it was damn near impossible now! Her scent called to him, the changes in her scent were so damn appealing it was difficult to stay away from her, so he had to become careful about his visits to her. Timing was important now though he still felt like he was wasting time fighting the inevitable. Change was coming again, he knew it though he wasn't certain when the change would come.

Rin's first year with her bleeding had been hell on him. His problems were not something he mentioned to Rin but Rin told him all about her problems. She told him about the heavy pain, the heat, the exhaustion, and worse the cramps which made her want to curl up in a ball on the floor and die, not to mention the headaches, the soreness, and the bleeding. All of this to her was painful; all of this to him meant entirely different things. Things he did not want his Rin to know of yet. But time was thwarting him in this battle, he knew this when young Kohaku took an interest in his Rin. It had taken all of Sesshomaru's will power not to kill the boy outright; he would not hurt his Rin by hurting her friends. This became his new internal chant as he prayed to all that was holy for some mercy. He did not expect to receive any but still hoped for some all the same.

Time sucker punched him again when her sixteenth birthday came, the year he and the old miko had agreed upon. It was time for the question. He'd only ask her once, he promised himself, for he would not come back to her continuously and beg for her to come with him. If she rejected him he would not destroy the entire village, he'd leave and destroy an entire army then try his best to stay away from the damnable human who had cast him aside. But he could not find it in him to destroy her, he never had been able to think to destroy her but still…he didn't want her rejection.

Much to everyone's shock; his own included though no one would've seen it; she had chosen to follow him again. Delight, happiness, and affection rolled through him as he looked blankly at the girl in all her mystery and wonder she still held a look of absolute undying love in her dark brown eyes. Accepting her company they left, quickly before anyone in Inuyasha's pack tried to stop him and take what was rightfully his away. His Rin was back where she belonged, by his side. Her fingers brushed his, to his shock and pleasure, and then her still small, slight hand slid into his as they walked to the forest where he had left her old friend Ah-Un waiting. The dragon was happy to see his mistress again, both head received equal attention from his Rin while he merely admitted relief to her coming. Jaken would meet up with them after he had finished his errand.

Time hadn't changed her much.

True she was taller, but she had been a child when he had met her so it was inevitable she'd grow up. Her young woman's body was slight, her curves delicate, her legs long, her feet still bare, her black hair was still worn with the same bit swept up in a now much longer tuff on the side of her head. But it was her eyes which pierced him and made him thankful for the first day time started for him. Her unconditional, undying love was still there though it had changed, he could see it. Now she did not see her hero, her guardian, now he knew what she saw for he saw it in her too. Looking at her woman's body he decided time had, for a change, been kind to her.

At first he tried to ignore how time had changed her. Perhaps if he did he would not jump her as he so ached to do. She was his, she should be his in every way but he knew she was not ready for him to take her. Or was she? True her adolescents made her blush under his gaze, and he could hear her heartbeat pound away but being his Rin this only made her smile at him again and look at him with a mysterious gaze. There were times when he thought she wanted him to jump her but he would not do so because he would not be his father. Again he realized he was fighting the inevitable and time, both were thwarting him to his irritation. He didn't want to be his father, but he didn't want to ignore Rin's changes as a young woman. Her life was too short to be wasted on his personal agonies. His Rin still looked at him with absolute love and he was defeated.

If he did not want to be his father then he would not be, he would not be a manipulative bastard who his children needed to leap through hoops to please. If Sesshomaru was to bed Rin then he'd do it properly, she'd be his Lady, his mate, and his equal. His children would know he loved them though he was not certain how to express this love he was going to give them. Perhaps his Rin could teach him a thing or two…

All he needed now was the right time.

Time seemed to work itself out for a year after his Rin had been returned. It was one night with one of 'her questions' as he was beginning to term them. It was innocent enough, and it was not one which threw him for a loop or had him walking into a tree again. The question was: Lord Sesshomaru, what is love? To both their surprise he had had an answer which he had not intended to share with her but came spilling out anyway. Her smile was bright, happy, loving and then she threw herself into his arms as she had so long ago and kissed his cheek, then his forehead and then his lips. It was all so innocent for her, and unexpected to him since never had he really let the girl touch him or hold him and he had never let her kiss him.

But when her lips innocently brushed his in a chaste kiss of a child something in him had snapped. Something in him wanted more, he wanted all of it, he wanted all of her, he wanted everything she could give. Things he had denied himself out of spite and out of concern of her. His Rin never protested, she never fought against him and she never said no. Instead she was eager to help, though she was quickly distracted whenever his hands touched her, stroked her or caressed her. She had willing taken him, all of him despite the pain of the first night. He knew he had hurt her but he hadn't been able to stop, nothing _could_ have stopped him not even himself. Rin never complained, she never cried, and she never protested that night she surrendered to him, much to his pleasure. That first night he had marked her, marked her for all the world to see. For the first time ever it was clear who she belonged to. The mark on her screamed to all who saw it: **Mine! Back off!**

Strangely Rin never asked him for a wedding, he didn't think of it until later then went about figuring out the useless human ritual for her, he could see she wanted one and he wouldn't deny her anything. Immediately he went to the hanyou to figure out what a wedding was, only to discover his brother was again useless in this matter. Much to their annoyance he and Inuyasha had to decipher what a wedding was and since both of them were inuyōkai they did not have use for these human weddings. But they figured they could figure it out and not bungle it up. How wrong they were!

In the end both he and Inuyasha went to Kagome for help. She planned her wedding too since she realized she was not married, though it was a bit late to be worrying about it in Sesshomaru's mind. About three pups too late in his and Inuyasha's mind. Time moved forward and he waited for her again, this time under the blooming sakura tree. For a change he didn't mind waiting for her, she had all the time in the world with him now, she was his forever.

Time would continue to steal her from him, it was an inevitable part of her being human but as he swore to the gods he'd love and cherish her. He knew only death would part them. Rin vowed to love him forever, even after her death as if she knew it was unavoidable. Death always seemed to be the inevitable divider for them. It would take her from him one day. Until then she was all his. Everyone wished them well, though he wore a smug smirk at Kohaku's glare of envy. What was there not to be envious, Rin was now irrevocably his. She always had been. Rin was his in every way possible, why should he not feel pleased he had her and did not have to give her up to someone else? Their wedding night was fun, long, and the closest to nirvana he was likely to get. There was no pain that night, there was no curious looks or hesitant touches that night. But the ecstasy and bliss he had from the first night continued to astonish him.

Looking back on those memories he realized that was the closest to time stopping. Afterwards his Rin would curl up beside him, hugging his mokomoko which he wrapped around her protectively. Afterwards he'd watch her sleep beside him so trustingly and wonder what he had done to deserve this woman. He was evil, there was no doubt about that, he still loathed humans, though he tolerated Inuyasha's pack more than most, and he hated weakness; his Rin was nothing but weakness. Her human frailty, her short life, her ability to love so freely, and her naïve view of the world. She saw beauty in everything; he saw pain everywhere but her. Only gods knew why he needed this weak, little, human woman to love him.

"I love you," he had whispered in her ear that night. Meaning everything he had just admitted to, her response was a slight smile to him in her sleep. But he began doubting she was really asleep when she wiggled her hips again. He couldn't stop then.

Time continued much to his disappointment.

Rin though seemed content with time continuing. The first changes came quick enough, if he had been paying more attention to his Rin he'd have never missed the subtle changes in her scent. But he had missed them. What they both hadn't missed was the mornings when she'd wake up only to run off to throw up everything in her stomach. At first he had panicked thinking she was dying on him again, he was prepared to drag her to his mother's again and demand for a cure. Rin thought he was being ridiculous and even told him so, which irritated him. Could she not see how important she was to him? Probably not, Rin didn't see her value. The second change he noticed was how she wouldn't eat certain things and went through pains to avoid certain foods; foods which had never bothered her before. He brushed this change off since to him all of her foods smelled unpleasant. The third change he noticed was when he loved her, she seemed…tender. It didn't stop them but it slowed him down enough to wonder what was wrong with his Rin.

Was she dying of some rare human illness? He didn't know, he didn't know anything about humans other than what his Rin experienced and told him. It wasn't until the illnesses in the morning passed that he noticed a major change in Rin. At first it had confounded him, then it had amazed him and then he waited for her to figure it out. There were two other heartbeats in Rin other than Rin's own heart. He then noticed what he had missed those months ago, the change in her scent, how tired she was, and her absent bleedings. Joy filled him for this was, strangely, what he wanted, despite having only hanyou pups, and then terror set in.

Who wouldn't be terrified to be a father after how he had grown up? Would his pups like him? Would he be able to love something he had despised vehemently? Would Rin be happy? How were they going to do this? Could they continue their travels? Or would Rin need a place to call home? All this ran through his head until Rin happily skipped up to him one day and asked him to guess why she was happy. He had no idea, she told him she was pregnant, he faked shocked for her sake since she seemed so pleased. Then she had insisted they go to Inuyasha's village so she could tell Kagome the good news.

They had visited Inuyasha's village under Rin's request and he had spent the better portion of a visit trying to stay out of the village. He hated people staring him but worse was the dog eared niece of his who seemed to think his tail, mokomoko, was her play toy and kept biting him. Despite his warning growls and nips on the child she had sunk her little fangs into the mokomoko and received a fierce growl from him. Inuyasha on the other hand had thought this situation hilarious as he doubled over in laughter, Sesshomaru had had his revenge though when he sicced the girl on her papa's ears which she loved. He saw the human blood rearing its ugly head when the child hadn't understood his growls but decided he'd tolerate it since these pups were a part of his family. Deciding retreat was his best option before he snapped he had slipped into the forest to wait for his Rin and to stay out of those menacing teeth's way.

Time had been kind to Inuyasha and Kagome, only six years together and they had two healthy sons, an aggravating teething daughter, and one more on the way. Sesshomaru might never express his thoughts but he was happy his brother had found happiness. Sango and Miroku had a large family, after the twins and their first son they had had four other children; all of whom were fascinated by Sesshomaru for an unknown reason. Rin's friend Shippo was a mighty fox demon and still working on his goal. The boy Kohaku though… Sesshomaru glared as he had to watch the boy try to engage Rin in a conversation. The boy had grown but his childish desires for Rin were beginning to irritate Sesshomaru. Kohaku was flirting with his mate, it took all of Sesshomaru's will power not to go over there and kill the whelp. It was clear his infatuation hadn't ended yet. But when Sesshomaru looked at Rin and saw her sigh in irritation from Kohaku's advances, he was content with his life.

Time was something he cherished now.

Again time flew and he found himself with Rin, more and more often at Inuyasha's village. It was simple reasoning in his mind because his Rin was now huge despite her small form. Rin's small form was still slight, she would never be large but her bulging belly had her off balance often these days. And secretly he feared the worse might happen if they traveled in her state. His instincts though refused to let him be away from her, he could not leave his Rin alone. Everywhere Rin went he found himself following, snarling at intruders or humans who dared to wander too close to his Rin. There were few who he tolerated on a normal basis, now there were none. He even reached the point where he viewed his brother as a threat, but he noticed Inuyasha copying his behavior towards a pregnant Kagome so Sesshomaru guess this protectiveness to be normal.

The best/worst day of his life began because time decided to continue.

It had been a normal day, he was walking with Rin in her field of flowers when her water broke. The pain he smelled rolling off of her had him scooping her up and flying to Inuyasha's mate's hut. Kagome had given birth to her fourth child a few weeks earlier and had been ready for Rin. To his frustration Sango, old Kaede and Kagome all kicked him out of the hut. Sitting in the entry with Inuyasha and Miroku beside him, they waited. Sesshomaru fought the desire to run to his Rin as she screamed for him in agony. Inuyasha and Miroku insisted the pain was normal, the screams were normal, the man being outside was for the best. Apparently this had more to do with Sango and Miroku than him or Inuyasha; a few unsavory threats were promised in the heat of birth apparently and Miroku vowed to leave birthing to the women. He had had a broken hand to prove labor could be painful for the man too.

Sesshomaru hadn't cared about the stories Inuyasha and Miroku were sharing about their times with their mates birthing all he had cared about was Rin. Listening to her screams, cries, pleading, and pain had internally killed him. He was worried, openly worried for the first time in his life. He was worried his mate's slight form wouldn't handle giving birth. Fear was clawing at him, fear of her dying on him. It wasn't uncommon for a woman to pass in birthing, at least from his understanding. Birthing was dangerous, he hated himself for putting Rin in this sort of danger. He felt his eye twitching as he listened all day and all night to Rin's pleas for him to be with her. He wanted to be with her, he was losing time with her. Again.

But time proved merciful this time.

Early the next morning, after his sleepless night there were two clear loud wails piercing the silence. No one could keep him back then as he lunged into the hut. His amber eyes never saw his children as his eyes snapped to his Rin who lay there panting and pale but very alive and healthy from her scent. He had quickly gone to her, held her and felt relief swamp him. Kagome and Sango presented them with two sons, Rin was happy to take one into her arms while he held the other. This was difficult to do since he could not let her go. In the end mokomoko had ended up being his third arm so to speak as he held his pup.

The first set of sons had his coloring, his looks, and Inuyasha's ears. Both had one jagged magenta strip on each cheek and crescent moons in the center of their heads. Rin was pleased, and proud of herself as she smiled at her two sons, he was terrified and curious. He had never dealt with pups, at least not this small. But he was slightly disappointed there was no visible trace of Rin in the pups. Just as he thought this Rin said the most unexpected thing she was glad they looked like him. He didn't understand why this pleased her. Hopefully traits of his Rin would appear in his pups. What had really shocked him was the love he felt for the pups, never had he felt such and intense, immediate love at first sight. Not even when he had first seen Rin. Gently he hugged his mate to him and found himself genuinely happy for the first time in his life.

Time seemed to be accelerated now with two pups in their lives.

He knew his pups' growth would slow once they were past being toddlers but he didn't know what else to expect. Rin always laughed as she chased after her pups and when he began worrying about if he was a good father or not she'd reassure him everything was fine. It was to his disappointment that his pups seemed to take after him for the most part, not just in looks but attitude. Both pups were quiet, both were strong, both adored their mother and him, and both seemed happy though one couldn't tell. For pups they had their emotions very well under control. During the days Rin would laugh, smile, play with them and adore them while they traveled and he would protect them, watch after his pack and family, and often found himself playing when Rin was too tired. Nights though…nights were his and Rin's.

After their pups were sound asleep Rin was his, all his. Though he didn't mind sharing his Rin with his pups he was a selfish bastard and liked having Rin all to himself. It was in the nights when she was all his, to worship, pleasure and be pleasured by. Life was wonderful for him; it would've been perfect if time wasn't so precious. All too quickly though her human time began stealing her away. Again Rin conceived, again she birthed, and again he had a child looking like him instead of her. Years passed, Rin aged, pups grew and came into the world. It was when she was thirty-five when Kagome and Sango both said she shouldn't bear another pup. Their last pup was born the next year and Sesshomaru finally got what he had wanted, a daughter who despite coloring resembled her mother. He was happy, his family was safe, and his children his pride while his mate was still his life.

Nineteen years had matured Rin, she was growing old but she wasn't that old yet. She was softer, a little plumper, and a little slower while he was still youthful in appearance. It seemed to irritate Rin who was growing old while he looked no older than twenty-one. He often assured her she was still beautiful to him and his opinion was the only one that mattered. He knew since he had killed for other's hateful opinions of his Rin and his relationship with his Rin. Their pups, all ten of them, were happy and healthy and safe. His youngest daughter was his secret pride since she did take after her mother. All of his children had his silver hair, his amber eyes, Inuyasha's dog ears and to his surprise their mother's view of the world.

Years continued to slip by; he cherished his time with Rin even more. And though he worried about a world without Rin she continued to promise to be with him for forever. His heart was heavy with the knowledge she could never give him forever, he could love her forever though. Perhaps that would be enough for him after she passed. She was going to be sixty-six soon and though he had to help her up, carry her occasionally, and even care for her he didn't mind. Fifty-seven years was more than he had expected from his mate, he wished for more time though. Fifty-seven, almost fifty-eight years was too short of time and some of the time had been wasted while he waited for her. Their pups had matured and treated their mother with a gentle love he hadn't expected, their eldest didn't look more than twelve after all this time. It saddened him knowing his Rin would never see their pups grow into a young men and women but she always smiled and praised them like the doting mother she was. Sesshomaru wished vainly for time to stop again.

Time was taking his Rin from him but she was leaving this world with dignity.

He carried Rin to her friend's funerals; he and Inuyasha had to help bury them. It had hurt Sesshomaru to help Inuyasha dig a hole for his mate and wife Kagome but he knew it didn't hurt him as much as it did his brother. Inuyasha then told him he was grateful, grateful for the time he had had with Kagome; all fifty-nine years. Glancing at Rin who was surrounded by her youthful children Sesshomaru agreed, for once, with Inuyasha. He too was grateful for the time he had with Rin.

Sesshomaru found himself dreading nights as he watched over his aging mate listening to her weak heartbeat. Age had taken her youthful beauty, taking her midnight hair for grey hair, taking her smooth skin for wrinkles, and taking her strong body for this weak shell. But Rin's heart and eyes never seemed to change. She still looked at him with her undying, unending, and unconditional love, she still smiled as if he was her world it was the smile that still made his heart skip a beat or two. He remained stoic throughout her life, never showing her a single expression or telling her a true feeling he felt for her other than three little words he whispered to her every night since their wedding night. He didn't know how to show her his love, he didn't know how to express his emotions to her but it didn't matter. She seemed to understand everything he couldn't say.

Seventy years after he met that wayward eight year old and she knew everything he never said and never asked him to say it her time had come. Rin's third and final death was here to take her from him again, but she wasn't leaving him without a fight. She had been fighting death for weeks now, it killed him to see her like this but he remained stoic through all of this. Their children gathered around her every day, all ten silver heads with white ears sitting atop their heads circled his mate, his wife, his Rin. Every day Rin would smile at her children and listen to them as they talk to her, every day she was given the prettiest flowers her children could gather since she could no longer go to see their beauty. And every day he sat with her, holding her small, slim, and now fragile hand. It amazed him at how quickly she had changed from a child to his Rin to an adolescent to a woman to the love of his life to his mate to his wife to the mother of his pups to a sassy middle aged woman and finally to a frail old woman whose smile still melted his heart. Gods above did he love this woman; it pained him to know her end was coming as he held her hand.

"I love you, I'll love you for forever," her last words.

"I love you too," he answered as he held a frail hand in his youthful strong one. Her smile shone on him as her heart faltered then stopped. His anguish crushed him in that moment as he gathered up the frail body of the only woman he ever loved and held her. He didn't want to let go of her, he didn't want to let her go. But he had too.

His Rin had finally left him a third and final time, but not without a fight. She had gone from a curious child who had chattered his ears off a mile a minute to a corpse, again. No tears welled in his eyes, though he was tempted to cry, howl his pain for all the world to hear as he held her again. Time stopped for him again, time meant nothing now that she was gone, now that he was left with nothing but her small, frail body. Closing his eyes he inhaled her scent again, the forest, the flowers, the scent that was so uniquely Rin it was something he never wanted to forget. Their children all stood gathered around her looking a little lost as he hugged her to him, but he couldn't let her go, not yet. Just one more moment, it was all he wanted.

But he always wanted one more moment with her.

Inuyasha and his brood showed up to help him bury Rin, much to Sesshomaru's shock. They buried her under what he had long since termed to be her tree, a nice old sakura tree which she had always been so fond of. It was also where they had gotten married. Fifteen amber eyes watched as their father and uncle buried their mother and aunt, both men too sad to notice the other and not a single insult was thrown that day. To Sesshomaru's disappointment the day was beautiful, he wanted the world to display the bleakness he felt. The world should be mourning for the woman who brought it a bit of sunshine was dead and buried. Standing there with his ten pups around him he stared at the grave.

He wished their pups weren't so much like him, their ten amber eyes all somberly looked at the headstone, grief was there, as was pain and sadness but there were no tears. Tears were not something he and his children shed. Rin was the one who always provided tears when they were needed. His gaze never left the freshly carved headstone.

"She lived a good long life," Inuyasha commented breaking the silence.

Sesshomaru said nothing.

"You don't know this but when she came to the village she missed you, she never showed it but she did. Anyway when Sango's twins were older, it was just before you took her back and they asked who she was going to marry. She said you; we all just about died of heart failure. I asked why, she shrugged and said she had loved you for forever, she'd continue to love you for forever even after she was gone. Rin lived a full life, gave a lot of love and laughter to this world and she was loved. In the end I guess that's all that matters." Inuyasha told him.

Sesshomaru said nothing but bent to her head stone and carved in something other than her name.

Rin, Forever Loved

It seemed appropriate then a small child hand slipped into his as they all stood there in the warm sun. It squeezed his; he squeezed his youngest daughter's hand back. Seventeen amber eyes all mourned the loss of the last human of their little family. But time would continue and he and Inuyasha had pups to raise, fights to hash out, and total domination plans in play. It was amazing what a few decades could change between two brothers who hated one another with a vengeance when they had begun all of this. Life continued on for him, sadly without Rin there, but Sesshomaru felt Rin's love surrounding him.

Perhaps she really could give him forever…

He'd give her forever too. He looked to the stars and decided life was a little sadder without his Rin. But it wasn't horrible, just sadder. He still had her children surrounding him with unspoken love.


End file.
